Wow...It's Almost Been A Month....

I haven't purposely ignored the blog...it just seems like alot has been going on...my great uncle passed away unexpectedly...it's sad that it takes a funeral to get the family together, but that's what happened. While it was a really sad occasion, it was nice to get to see family we don't get to see all that often.

I'm officially a Slim in 6 drop out...I have knee problems and my right knee did not like all the squats and lunges...I like the workout and I will do it at some point, but not right now. I think I'll start working out by just walking every day and maybe doing some yoga. And on that note, the diet that went along with SI6 pretty much went right out the window when my uncle passed away...I'm a stress eater and I was stressed.

I have decided to go back to LA Weightloss...I did good with the program a few years ago, so I expect to do good again. I cleaned out the fridge and pantry today to get ready for Day 1 (which is tomorrow). Days 1 and 2 are hard because you get no starches. You can have all the lean protein you can eat, along with raw green salad veggies, but no bread or fruit. You also have to drink 32 oz of this juice stuff and drink 64 oz of water each day. When I did this three years ago, I lost like 6 lbs in the first two days. I know it's water weight, but it still makes the scale go down and your clothes fit better. I supposed I better wear comfy shoes to work tomorrow because I'll be trekking to the bathroom a jillion times a day. And my friend Kara is doing it with me. Even though she's not in Abi, we email each other alot during the day. Hopefully we can keep each other motivated.

The only other major thing that happened was that my cousin Shanna got married yesterday in Odessa...me, my mom, sister, and grandparents all went on Friday and came home today. But that event probably deserves its own entry. Suffice it say, I'm tired and just want to do some Sudoku (yes, I'm addicted).

A Quarter

I'm a quarter of the way through SI6...that's right, 9 down, 27 to go...today was hard too. But I did it and I'm happy about that.

Relatively dull day...went to the new Beehive in Abilene...it was pretty good. I think they have a few kinks to work out (a guy that offices in our building had been seated since before we arrived and we had to wait 10 or 15 minutes and he was just getting his food as we were LEAVING...I hope he got comped).

Oh, and I'm still in my parking place...if the lady didn't think I was schizo before I'm sure she does now b/c I had to call her back yesterday morning last thing to tell her I want to keep my parking place a while longer. Apparently, they only had one spot available in the garage and there were four of needing spaces. I'm ok with that, I actually like where I park better than the garage. I'm closer to the bank.

One Down, Four To Go

I am just not a fan of Mondays. Work was ok today, it's just scary how busy we are right now. Remember how happy I was to get to pay to park across the street? I had to call and cancel my lease on that spot today being as I now get to park in the garage at work. I'm impressed I remembered to call...the lady there probably thinks I'm totally schizo b/c I was so jazzed to get a spot back and then, here we are like three weeks later, and I'm like, uh, you can have it back now.

Watched the Academy Awards last night, well, at least part of them. I just wasn't that excited by it all - Thank God for Tivo. I really liked Little Miss Sunshine and the Departed, so I'm glad both did well. I do think it's a shame that Borat didn't win an Oscar...that would have been a trip. I bought Babel the other day, but I haven't watched it yet. I was really hoping Meryl Streep, ugly dress and all, would win the actress category. I LOVED her in the Devil Wears Prada. Her "outfit" was totally fug. Maybe she was trying to put as much distance between herself and the character, b/c Miranda would not have *EVER* worn that....

I was going to visit Kara in the Falls this weekend, but she had a change of plan and is going to come here Saturday. Should be pure torture for J to put up with the two of us...one time she and I had a running email going discussing how horrible it was when Aunt Flo is visiting and how Taco Bueno and Ben & Jerry's seem to be only cure for it all...it basically turned into a story about us, PMSing, in our pajamas on the couch, with our chicken taquitos, Mexidips, and Karamel Sutra, while watching the saddest movies ever, like Simon Birch, Beaches, Old Yeller, and crying non-stop, sniveling "it's just so sad". We should do that this weekend to see if J can set a landspeed record for packing his bag and going fishing...you know it's bad enough when I do it all by myself, he'd freak it there were two of us doing it :)

7 out of 36 workouts done. I'm proud of myself. I actually caught myself thinking that I was kind of excited about working out. Weird. The second phase of SI6 is definitely more challenging. This one part with leg lifts is just KILLING me. I also read in the little book that accompanied the dvds that most people thought the 2d and 3d days of phase 2 were the hardest of the entire 6 weeks. Somehow I think they're lying.

Weekend

We had a really quiet weekend. My sis came over Friday night and we had a movie marathon of sequels, headlined by Grease 2 and The Transporter 2...stayed up late watching Family Guy...too funny...Saturday, Jody was a grump b/c the weather was SO nasty here. I decided one of us need to get out the house, so I left to go visit my grandmother...Ash and I ended up going to see Epic Movie, which was horrible, but it was the only one that started when we wanted to go. After the movie, I didn't feel real great, so I came home and took a bath and thought I lay down in bed for a quick nap around 5...I woke up at 2 am. I can't believe I did that...I got up for about 2 hours, took another bath, read a book, and then went back to sleep. I should be well rested.
Jody went fishing today...I haven't seen him since 11 or so...I think he's hiding out tonight b/c the Oscars are on....

Purple Eye Funk Revisited

Ok, two years ago, I went to work and was promptly asked by one of the secretaries who socked me in the eye. I checked a mirror, and sure enough my eye looked red and puffy. I immediately called my doctor and he told me to come on in. I do and he says, oh, it's just pink eye...here's a sample, it'll be better by the morning and gone in a day or two...I'm thinking great...I go home and my eye just gets worse and worse. And in the meantime, I develop the worst sore throat I've ever had and a fever. And of course, by then, it was Friday afternoon and my doctor wasn't working. I head to the minor emergency clinic and the PA on duty wouldn't even get withing 5 feet of me. This is what I looked like:

Pretty scary huh? The purple of my lid inspired the name...being as I didn't know what was wrong with me at first, me and Kara dubbed it the purple eye funk. Seemed fitting. After going to Abilene Eye Institute, I was diagnosed with Pharyngoconjunctival Fever....

And while it started in my right eye, it did spread to the left, but not as bad. I don't ever, ever want that stuff again. I also had to wear my glasses to work for like 3 weeks which I HATED.

It's Been A Good Week

So yesterday, I'm sitting in my office, working like mad to finish a bunch of real estate stuff, when the commercial lending EVP sticks her head in my office and asks if I can come visit with her and my boss. Like I'm going to say no...anyway, I'm thinking I just need to get back to my appraisals, when they tell me the board elected me as AVP...I was pretty much dumbstruck. In a good way. It's a good thing they told me really late in the day, because I didn't get much done after that...I tried to call J to tell him, and of course he didn't answer, so I called my best work bud David, who's in Granbury these days, to spread the news and plan how we can take over the bank someday (it's a long running joke with us)....

In other news, I've made it 5 whole days in a row of working out. I can def tell it's getting easier. I'm not particularly sore anymore (except for my inner thigh and that's a GOOD thing)and I can do pretty much the entire 25 minute workout. I *might* try the next phase of the workout tomorrow and see how that goes. Or I might just finish the first week out with one more round of the "Start It Up" workout. Oh, and I just figured out I'm supposed to do an ab workout in addition to the other 3x per week. Think I can do it all in one day? I've also determing that after I finish the Slim in 6, I'm going to give Power 90 a go....

Another Day, Another Workout....

Hee. I've done three whole workouts. On consectutive days. It's got to be some kind of recent record...I used to workout every day. When I was in grad school, I was in amazing shape...I ran a mile a day and did pilates probably 5x a week. And then I quit. And then a few years back, I decided to start running again...I was up to 3 miles a day. And then I quit. Actually, I hurt my knee, but the end result was the same...then I joined LAWL and lost quite a bit of weight pretty easily and started working out again, this time to Yoga Booty Ballet, which is a blast. I got in pretty good shape again...and then I got sick with the purple eye funk...and I stayed sick on and off for a good six months. And then I hurt my knee again and just kind of gave up. I'm very curious to see how this program works. Some of the before and afters on beachbody.com are amazing. I can't even imagine achieving results like those...but hopefully I will. And if I do, I'm still not posting my before pictures. Anywhere.

2 Down, 34 To Go....

I completed the second day of working out in the Slim in 6 program. As sore as I was today, working out actually helped. I'm kind of shocked. The eating side of "the plan" is going good too. Well, as good as it can in two days...I'm just ready for all this to be a habit...and for my pants to be looser...and for my body to not be so jiggly....
I used to be so active too...but as a friend pointed out to me...that's been like 15 years ago. I can't believe I can say hey, remember 15 years ago when...and what's sad is, I could probably realistically say hey, remember 20 years ago....

Official Day #1....

SO today is the official day #1 of the new working out/eating better plan. So far, it's not been alot of fun...I had to weigh, measure, and take pictures. All I can say is Thank God for self timers on digital cameras.
Oh, and then there was that working out thing...I started Slim in 6 Start It Up today. I am not in good shape and that point was driven home by the 25 minutes of hell I had to endure...it'll get better. It was actually kind of motivating in the sense that I don't like being so pathetic!!

So...

My new Slim in 6 stuff got here Friday but I have freaking bronchitis right now. Not a good time to start a work out program...unless I want to cough up both my lungs. I hate being sick.

On a good note, I got my old parking spot back in the lot across from bank. It came at a price, but it was one I was most definitely willing to pay. Hiking a block and a half in heels is not the greatest thing ever. So worth it!

DIE(t) - Day #1

I've made it one day so far...no snacking, no sweets, no nothing. I even ate some fruit. I'm waiting on the Slim in 6 to get here, so I figured I'd go ahead and do something in the meantime, so I pulled out the good old Turbo Jam dvds. Oh my. I'm in B A D shape. But you know what? I did it. I sweated. And cussed. And hit pause a few times so that I could drink some water. But I did it and it didn't kill me (at least not this time anyway!).

Another BORING day at work. I worked on clearing up appraisal exceptions all day long and only finished maybe half of them. Ick.

Ok, back to being OCD about the "plan" as I'm going to call it. I have to say I'm really looking forward to my pants not being so tight. That's really a pretty miserable feeling, to wear a suit almost 10 hours a day and have the pants be tight.

In summary, I didn't fall off the wagon day #1. But there's still 4 hours until bedtime!!!!

Diet Is Just Die with a T at the End

So I intentionally did not make New Year's resolutions this year...too cliched, too easy to screw up...however, while looking at pics recently, it looks like it's time for me to curb the eating and get back to exercising. Ick. Double ick at my pictures though. (shudders a little) And then I stepped on the scales. We are not going there. Bad, bad, bad. Bad.

I ordered the Slim in 6 series from Beach Body. I've had good luck in the past with Yoga Booty Ballet (my fave workouts ever!) but I feel like I need something with more structure.

I guess my goal is to do the entire 6 week program and see how things work. I should probably go back to a healthy eating plan as well. I've done LA Weightloss in the past and it works. It's pretty easy too. Reasonable could be the word I'm looking for....

Have I mentioned that I'm a little OCD? Last time I had the epiphany and got my ass in gear with LAWL and Yoga Booty, I became obsessive. With a capital O. Like where I weighed myself at least twice a day, if not three times a day. However, it worked and I looked really good.

So stayed tuned for the diet/exercise obsessed posts that are sure to come.

Hola

Long time, no post...things have just been busy here since I got home from Colorado (which was a rough trip home). I've been battling some kind of allergy/sinus stuff, and I just tired of feeling so SNOTTY all the time. And I mean that in the congested sense, not the attitude sense.
Pretty boring week, followed by a very unexciting (thank goodness) weekend.

Saturday Was A Good Day

We slept in, until Jeff's neighbor Jamie called and wanted to cook breakfast for us. She cooks great omelettes by the way...then it was off to Flatiron Crossing. I went to Sephora and picked up some mascara, cleanser, and moisturizer. Nordstrom was doing a make up event, so me and Jamie got our make up done. Jeff entertained himself by visiting with everyone in the vicinity before heading to the MAC counter to watch them get to drag queens ready for a rave in Colorado Springs (that we got invited to). From there, we went to see Alpha Dog. Great movie, super sad story, even more so because it's true. Then it was back up the mountain for the evening. Jeff's big into indie films, which sometimes I like, and sometimes theres just a reason why they're indies. I loved Little Miss Sunshine, Thirteen, Whale Rider, In America...those are all good movies. The one he made us watch was "You and Me and Everyone Else We Know." He asked if I liked it and I said no, which led him to asking to explain why.

Anyway, it's snowling lightly this morning and I'm just chilling out.

Here are some pics from our road trip on Friday:

Interesting...

I'm up here in Colorado,where there was supposed to be a major winter storm, and so far nothing!!! BUT meanwhile, Texas is getting hammered with ice. It's just kind of ironic.

Anyway, it is beautiful up here. Yesterday (Friday), Jeff and I got up and drove down the mountain to Boulder to have breakfast at this place called Camille's. It was SO GOOD. Boulder is a beautiful town and there are some great houses there. After we left Boulder, the weather was pretty good, so Jeff took me on a tour, up Boulder Canyon, around Nederland, to Eldora, then to Blackhawk/Central City. Like I said, the weather was good in that it wasn't snowing and the sun was out. BUT the temperature never got over -7. Then we came back to the house and watched The Hours (he made me, and it was pretty good), and Entourage (I made him).

Here are some pics from the trip so far:
The house is amazing...it's three stories total...the top story has the living room, kitchen, dining area, master bedroom/master bath. The middle floor, where I iam, has two bedrooms, a full bath, and a den. The bottom floor has a full bar, a pool table, full bath, and a movie theatre.
Jeff's House (and Jeff)


The living room:


The dining area (I love all the framed album art):


Jeff's Bedroom (note the view of the continental divide out his window):


The master bath (WOW! I love the bath tub!!!)


The kitchen:


The middle floor has a large den Jeff uses as his editing room (just picture me sitting at the desk with the huge computer monitor):


And two bedroom (not pictured)

The lower floor has a pool table and a theatre:

Up On A Mountaintop

Wow. That's all I have to say. Jeff's place is beautiful. This is going to be a good vacation.

still at dfw

Still here on my blackberry. There are these two guys palying guitar and fiddle, singing. They're really good. Didn't realize it was live at first. They're probably famous bluegrass people. And that's prorbably why I don't have a clue who they are.
About to board!

4 am Is No Time to Get Up

Here iam at dfw blogging from my blackberry. As ocd as I am, I decided to try for the 5:40 flight that gave me a little more time before my denver flight. We rocked and bounced all the way here. Not a great thing on a small plane! Good thing I don't get motion sickness! Just had a bagel (super good from einstein bros)and I'm heading to my gate.

So....

I leave for Colorado on Thurday and I have been telling Jeff I would really like for it to snow while I'm there. He called today and told me it looks like I'll be getting my wish...check out the forecast here....note that it's a balmy 38 degrees on Wedesday...after that, the temps just fall to a high of 24, 12 (!), 9 (!), 14, 20, and 26 for Thursday through Tuesday, respectively. It's going to be cold. I may be wearing all my clothes at once!

I did get two really cute coats for my trip (it was a really good sale and I just couldn't make up my mind).

Jody didn't like the orange one so much...he said it looked something from the 70's from a garage sale. Whatevs...I like it and I promise to never make him wear hit. Plus I think some of his hunting clothes are pretty hideous.

I also got a new pair of Nikes. Being as my Shox are like 3 years old, I thought it might be ok to buy a new pair:

I'm also got these on sale...normally $160 (I can't imagine paying that much for a pair of running shoes!) marked down to $99 (which is still pretty bad, but if they last 3 years, that's only $0.09 per day).

Behold, the New Camera

As mentioned in my previous post, Jody's birthday present to me was a new digital camera. Our old digital camera is a Canon Powershot A70, which we've had for 3+ years. It's a really good camera and I've never had any trouble with it, unlike the Kodak digi-cam that I use at work. I liked the A70 so much that Ash and my mom both got Canon Powershot A540s for Christmas this year.

One feature I wanted on a new camera was more optical zoom. So I went to Circuit City and Best Buy both yesterday afternoon. I had initially thought I was going to buy an Olympus, but after looking at the Olympus and a Canon, I decided I really liked some of the features the Canon offered. Plus, we've had such good luck with Canon, I hated to change.

So we ended up with the Canon S3 IS. It's a nice camera, operates similar to the other one, but it's got a 12X optical zoom and a 4X digital zoom, creating a total zoom of 48X.

I can't wait to play around with it some today!

The No Good, Very Bad Start To My Birthday

My birthday is today, December 31. Yes, New Year's Eve. And yes, I've heard it all from "Wow, what a good tax break for your parents," to "Boy that must have sucked for your mom to miss out on partying on New Year's Eve."

There's something those of us who have December Holiday birthdays understand it binds us together: We get shafted on our birthdays. I used to think it was just me that felt this way, but it's not.

When we're kids in school, we never get a school birthday party (in all fairness, neither do the kids with summer birthdays, but at least they can have swim parties); we never get swim parties; everyone is always out of town for the holidays, so our parties are generally sparse, unless you want to hold off for a couple of weeks after Christmas. And actually, that still holds true even now because this year, on Thursday, the people at work asked if we could wait and do my birthday next week when more people would be there.

Then there's the people that just lump our birthdays in with Christmas. That happens too. For example, take my dad. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all that he and my stepmom do for us and the fact that he LOVES Jody. J's birthday is in October, two months before Christmas. Last year for his birthday, they got him a Bowflex; this year, they gave him a Glock 9mm. Oh, and for our 6th anniversay, they gave "us" a rifle. Christmas is generally a cash donation with the instructions that it is to be split evenly, not M gets more because it's for her birthday too. Then a week after Christmas is my birthday. The last two years for my birthday, I have received a set of apertif glassses (?!?) and a gift certificate for a massage. I'm just not seeing the equality here. Of course, J says its just because they like him better.

I don't want to give the impression that I'm bitter, but I will say I'm resigned to it, it's what I've come to expect. The whole birthday thing, that is.

So anyway, my friend Samantha came to Abilene yesterday to spend the weekend. I have all sorts of fun stuff planned: first, we'll run by her family's place at Lawn, then we'll go to my dad's and play with the horses for a while, then Samantha wanted to learn to shoot a gun, all followed by a nice dinner cooked by my dad on the grill at their house.

My dad calls first thing yesterday morning and says since it's just going to be me, J, and Samantha coming that we're going to eat with the hunters. For my birthday. Great, I can't wait to go to the hunting camp, where it's cold and spend my birthday dinner with a bunch of strangers. But ok, I'll be a sport.

Samantha arrives, I'm getting the guns and ammo together so she can learn to shoot, and the phone rings. It's my dad. He freaking cancels on us. He cancelled my birthday. And not even for a good reason. I wish he'd just lied and made up a good reason, because now, my feelings are hurt, because while I've accepted and come to expect the inequality that will undoubtedly come in the form of a $50 gift card, the one thing I'd at least had some expectation for (spending time with my dad for my birthday) didn't happen. And he didn't even say I'm sorry about your birthday, or have a good birthday, or anything. Jody was standing there and said something to the affect that I didn't want to eat with the hunters anway and I just burst out on tears. I think I scared him, because he told me to go buy myself a new digital camera for my birthday.

The Title Is WRONG....

When I go to the beach, I like nothing more than some beachy books...you know, the type: girly, a little silly, nothing more than literary cotton candy. Hey, I use my brain the other 50 weeks a year I have to work...well, actually it's more like the other 48 weeks a year I have to work, but whatever. Some of my fave beach reads in recent years have included

• the Anita Blake series by Laurel K. Hamilton (pure cheddar)
• anything by Marian Keyes (she may be Irish, but it translates just fine)
• the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich (if you haven't read these books go to the bookstore. NOW.)
• Bergdorg Blondes by Plum Sykes
• The Starter Wife by Gigi Levanie Grazer
• Mine are Spectacular, The Botox Diaries, The Men I Didn't Marry (all by Janice Kaplan and Lyn Schnurnberger)

And finally, Star, A Novel by Pam Anderson. I'm not kidding. I thoroughly enjoyed this book while laying on the beach, drinking cervezas, and tanning. No, it was not a deep book, but you shouldn't expect it to be given the list of books I presented above. It was funny, had a decent plot, and entertained you for the short time it took to read it.

Since that time, Pam has published a sequel to Star, called Star Struck. My dear friend Sara, who also shared in the beachy goodness of the first Pam book while in Cozumel, purchased the sequel for her recent trip to Coz. It just made sense.

I had lunch with Sara and she passed the book on to me. It's short, 190 pages. I fly through it in two nights. And I have to say, that's two nights of my life I'll never get back. It was horrible! As the blog title says THE TITLE IS WRONG. It shouldn't have been Star Struck, it should have been Star something-that-rhymes-with-struck. And I'm not referring to Sucks, but that would work too, because it did. If you don't want to know the plot line, don't read any farther. Basically, the book is about her having sex with Tommy Lee, while killing a few paparazzi along the way. SERIOUSLY. So what I'm saying, is there is not a plot.

Something else I noticed while I was sitting here is the "Praise for Star" included on the book cover and inside back page. The cover says:

"Star is an absolute frolic; clever, consistenly witty, and often downright hilarious." - Anne Rice

Notice it does not say Star Struck. And neither do any of the "Praise" sections. Interesting.

Christmas Day, Football, & Kleenex

No, this post doesn't have anything to do with the Dallas Cowboys....

Me, my mom, and my sister went to see We Are Marshall on Christmas Day. If you want to see Foxy and Matthew look like this

then this is the movie for you...then there's this one part where Matthew looks super hot:

No, in all seriousness, this movie is sad. The subject matter (a small town University's football team and coaching staff are all killed in a fiery plane crash) is sad, and even more tragically, based on true events that occurred in 1970. By the time the movie was over, I had a stomach ache, my mom's throat hurt, and Ashley looked like her dog had died. I have to admit going into the theatre, I knew the premise was sad, but I looking forward to an inspirational film. I didn't find it. I think some people might have, but not me...or my sister...or my mom.
So with all the seriousness aside, I have to say one thing they did succeed in doing is making Matthew look un-hot, which is pretty hard to do, not impossible, as evident in his Dazed and Confused look:

So now I'm going to have to put some good pics of Matthew up:

I guess I was hoping for We Are Marshall to be more like Invincible, which I loved:

It was inspiring, touching, funny...it didn't leave you feeling like someone had hit you in the stomach with a baseball bat. Bad analogy, I know, being as it's a football movie. And it too was set in the 1970's and they managed to make Marky Mark look pretty ok....

And since I went there, we have to post the picture:

Colorado or Bust....

So speaking of Jeff, I've decided it's time to go visit him in Colorado. I booked a flight last night departing Abilene on Thursday, January 11 and returning on Tuesday, January 16. I got a pretty good deal, I think. I fly out of Abilene at 6:45 am and arrive at Denver International Airport at 9:15 am. Pretty cool stuff.

So I'll have pretty much all day Thursday there too. Anyway, Jeff lives closest to Golden, which he tells me is about 6,000 ft, while his house is at 9,000 ft. Jeff hurt his back snowboarding, so I'm not sure if he'll be up to skiing when I'm there, but I'm taking my stuff just in case. He also says there's 6 feet of snow on the ground at his house right now. I can't imagine.

I just hope the weather is good for flying in and out...it can snow like crazy the rest of the time!!!! And I'm definitely taking my camera....

Oh, here's a funny picture I found of me and Jeff:

Jeff

This is my cousin Jeff:

Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers...he needs it right now.

This Little Piggy Went To Market While the Rest Apparently Went to Shep

Jody is a hunter, I am not. I understand the need for population control and everything, but I DO NOT want to be the one to do it and I don't really want to see it. With that being said, Jody puts game cameras out and the pictures are quite often COOL (a porcupine eating the corn along with deer and racoons. And sometimes they're a little frightening like the following:

Christmelicious

Have I mentioned that I love You Tube?

Dance

Alot of people have seen this, but I think it's great!!!

Merry Christmas (Again)

Too Funny....

Merry Christmas

Well Hello Again....

It's been a while hasn't it? At all phases of my life, there have been games where you have to take care of something...when I was in 4th grade and had the super cool Commodor 64 computer it had a game where there was a little guy in a house and you had to take care of him or he got sick and died. Well, I don't really know if he died, but he'd let you know how badly you disappointed him by tapping on the glass at you. I used to like to make him do that. Sick, no? Then there were the little tami-whaties...again, not so great for me. And then in grad school, I let one of the other GAs talk me into getting a Neopet. Again, you have to log in, buy it food, pet it, etc. or it gets sick and dies. Or something.
Those games, I'm not so good at. This blog is alot like those games.
However, I do enjoy blogging. And I had some laughs reading some of those old posts...purple eye funk, boy those were the days. Anyway, I think I'll give it a try again. Plus I can totally post by email so I look like I'm really working at work when in fact I'll be blogging.
Oh and my renewed interest in blogging can be credited to Courtney...I hope mine is half as entertaining as yours. Plus Diva can't do it anymore, so the torch has been passed...we'll just see how long it takes me to forget to feed it and it gets sick and dies....

Men...Ugh.

I have to admit, I'm careful with my computer. I have (and run)a McAfee subscription as well as four different spyware blaster thingies. Yet I keep getting junk on my PC. I know why now.

My darling husband comes in while on the internet and asks me to check the weather. I go to the site and they have one of those banners that says "Swat the fly" or "Hump the monkey" or someother idiotic game running across the banner. I had relinquished control of the mouse and before I knew it, J had "played" the game and was like "I don't know why they don't make that game harder." Seriously. I was about to die. So now I know...and I kind of wish I didn't.

Will Waddle For Procreation...

My mom and I went to see "March of the Penguins" this morning. I didn't really know what to expect other than I had heard it averaged more money per screen last weekend than either Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Wedding Crashers....

This is hands down an inspiring movie...these penguins leave their ocean home and waddle 70+ miles to a place where they go every year to mate and raise their babies. As the movie puts it, they're seasonally monogamous, choosing one mate per season and partnering to raise one baby over a nine month period. The females lay one egg and then relinquish custody of the egg to male very carefully. If the egg is exposed to the negative 50 degree weather for more than a few seconds, no baby. The male rests the egg on his feet and has a belly roll that covers it, insulating it. At this point, the moms head off to the ocean 70 miles away to feed leaving dad on his own with no food. By time the eggs hatch, mom is well on her way back and relieves dad, who has not eaten for 120 days at this point. The reunions are touching, seriously. The babies are extremely cute and the relationship they have with their parents is just so...I don't know how to put it other than touching.

Yes, there is some death, though the film does not dwell. I guess you could say any death scenes are handled respectfully, no blood, just quietly letting them go. THere is one scene with a grieving mom that is just heartbreaking.

Go see it. You'll be entertained, inspired, and educated....

The Cozumel Diaries - Day #3 - Monday

As mentioned previously, you’ll have to scroll down for the posts from Days 1 and 2….

 

We left off with me swearing off taquitos for the rest of my life…

 

When I got up Monday, my tummy still felt a little less than cheerful.  As we had a 9:30 am date with a boat, we ate a light breakfast.  I was trying not to think about what it would be like to have an accident in my wetsuit.  As Sunshine pointed out, fish poo all the time in the water…Uh, no thanks, I’ve barely mastered peeing while diving.

 

Our boat picks us up…Time for more diving 101.  Our dive shop (Deep Blue) has small fast boats that take no more than 8 divers at a time, with 2 dive masters “DMs”.  Deep Blue has four full time DMs:

Gabriel: The shop’s most experienced DM.  So incredibley nice.  Knows where all the good stuff is to look at….

Hector:  Been on a boat with him, but never dove with him.  Extremely good looking.  And muscular. 

Sandro: Dove with him last year.  He remembered us.  He also helped us dingdongs turn on the lights of the Jeep.   More later.

Timothy: British import, looks to be of Thai descent.  LOVE THE ACCENT.  Extremely cool guy, great DM.   

 

On a boat dive, you generally do two dives with a surface interval in between to allow you to vent excess nitrogen.  The first dive is typically the deeper of the two (80’-95’) and the second dive is generally 60’-75’.  The typical dive profile has you down for 700 psi (a full tank has about 3300 psi) or 45 minutes.  If there are two groups, the boat drops one group off first.  You enter the water by a backwards roll into the water…it really is the easier way to do it.  The captain makes sure you ok on entry, the DM gives the signal to go down, you start letting the air out of your BC and you descend. 

 

The DMs on our boat that morning were Timothy and Javier.  Who’s Javier, you might say, he wasn’t mentioned above.  That’s because, unfortunately for us, the shop was overbooked and hired out a freelance DM.  He reminded me of a used car salesman.

 

I should point out that Sunshine likes to dive.  However, it makes her anxious.  I suppose she feels like she’s out of control and doesn’t that feeling…that and I think she worries about everything that could go wrong.  Which is a lot, but most of what could go wrong has to do with divers being careless.  So what happens next couldn’t have happened at a worse time….

 

We enter the water, Javier gives the diver down signal (basically thumbs down) and we start our descent.  At least some of us do.  Sunshine is historically slow to clear her ears, so I hang back with her.  It becomes apparent she needs help going down (insert pervy comments here).  I attempt to help, but I don’t have enough weight to pull her down and me down too.  I go get the DM.  By this time, her mask is flooding and she can’t clear it (panic does amazing things to you).  He sends her to the boat.  By herself.  This is not standard procedure.  Granted me and the other two divers in his group were drifting, but he didn’t do anything to help her.  So I spend a while contemplating where Sunshine went and what she’s doing…then the fat Ecuadorian guy that’s diving with us almost kicks me in the face…I reach out to block him and end with a cut on my hand from the coral.  I spend the rest of the dive trying to conceal the blood and worrying that I got into fire coral or some other type of stinging coral. b/c it hurts like a beeeyotch. 

 

When we get out of the water, I see Sunshine and she does not look happy.  Her jaw is set, her eyes are wide and glassy.   It’s clear that she’s already made up her mind to not ever dive again.  All I could think of was that she needed some Xanax.  I was concerned as was Javier.  Others on the boat were sympathetic as well.  But it was clear she still had no interest in getting back in the water.  I knew if we didn’t get her back in on the second dive, she would probably never go again.  We weren’t diving on Tuesday, so she would have had all day Tuesday to continue snowballing her fear and anxiety and by Wednesday, she’d been done.  I know I was walking a fine line between being supportive and pissing her off.  I tried the tough love approach…you know, you shouldn’t do it if it’s not enjoyable to you…I tried to appeal to her comfort zone with horses…it’s like when you get bucked off, you have to get back on…and I finally went for the jugular…maybe you’re just not able to master the skills.  I think that one did it.  Sunshine is an overachiever and has probably never failed at anything in her life.  Javier finally came through and took her out in the surf on her surface interval to work on her mask clearing, which seems to be her big fear.  She finally agreed to go on the second dive when Javier promised we’d go no deeper than 40 feet.  She made the dive and Javier lied…we went more like 65 feet.  Javier also literally physically held her hand the entire dive.  Neither one of us really liked him.  He followed different protocols and did things differently.  That’s one thing about diving with the same dive shop, you expect consistency.  Especially when you’re like us and only dive once or twice a year.

 

When we get back to the hotel, Miss Sunshine decides wisely that she would like to do a shore dive in front of the hotel the next morning as we took Tuesday off from the diving schedule.   Mostly she just wants to sit somewhere underwater and just breathe.  And occasionally practice clearing her mask.  We end up hanging out at the hotel on this day, laying out, taking it easy.

 

That night we went into town and went to use the internet.  Tim, the other DM on the boat happened to be in the same place and asked Sunshine what happened with her dives….he pretty much thought old Javier was worthless and told us so.  Suggested we go talk to Deborah, the owner of the dive shop.  So we did.  I think she was concerned, but she was very calm and talked Sunshine through what happened.  Sunshine decided she wanted a private DM for the rest of the trip.  If it makes it enjoyable for her, more power to her.  We had dinner at Prima’s and then went on to Carlos and Charlies to burn off the consumed calories .  Shakin ass is a hella good workout.  I was absolutely soaked (with sweat, that is) by time we left.  I will say there were a TON of freshly graduated high school kids there that night.  It was a little weird.  Actually more like a LOT weird.   

     

 

 

The Cozumel Diaries - Day #2 - Sunday

So if you’re just tuning into my blog, scroll down for the first three days of my vacation (2 in Fort Worth and Day #1 in Cozumel….

 

We left off with me and Sunshine enjoying the fact that we were in Coz, I had my fly zipped, and that we were having great food at Casa Denis….

Sunday morning we got up bright and early, had a quick breakfast, and headed into town for our refresher course with Luis.  We arrive bright and early at the dive shop and Luis asks us to come into the equipment room.  I have to pee so bad I can’t wait any longer and ask to use their restroom.  Next time, I think I’d rather piss myself.  It was that bad.  I was mortified and shocked.  The shop is really, really nice otherwise.  Just don’t ask to use their facilities.  Ew.  Sunshine says she has to go and I’m trying to send her sign language for “don’t do it” but our ESP hadn’t kicked in at that point.  She was less than impressed as well.  Luis gets our equipment picked out for us and loads it in the truck and says he is driving us to Villablanca reef.  Needless to say, I’m short, so I get to sit bitch between my instructor and Sunshine.  It was great.  Luis was very interesting to talk to and has been on the island for a long time.  He’s definitely a good instructor.  Even though the dive masters and boat captains set up your gear for you, part of the refreshed was setting up your own gear, which we did.  I put my regulator on bassakwards to begin with and Sunshine lost the ability to tell her right hand from her left when it came to the weightbelts.  Before putting on our Personal Solar Ovens (aka wetsuits), Luis gives us our dive profile…giant stride entry (Sunshine’s eyes get big), followed by a short swim to a sandy bottom where the three of us will descend to approximately 22 feet, then clearing the regulator, retrieving the regulator, and mask clearing skills assessments.  At this point, Luis gives us an example of how to do each skill as there are two variations for each…I really feel for Luis on this one…Sunshine was looking a bit um, anxious.  She really doesn’t like giant stride entries or mask clearing.   At all.  Luis starts on the regulator clearing skills (sidebar: Diving 101 – You take the regulator (what you’re breathing from) out of your mouth, it gets water in it.  How do you clear the water? 1) Put the reg in your mouth and use some of your air left in your lungs to “pop” the water out…or 2) return the regulator to your mouth and tap the purge button on the reg.  When you do this, you use your tongue to deflect the air and water to some extent.)  Luis tries to make a joke at this point about French kissing the regulator.  Sunshine is less than amused.  I think Luis was catching on and continued with his joke that if she closed her eyes when used the purge button, then he knew what she was thinking about…Sunshine DID NOT find this amusing whatsoever.  I did though.  The rest of the course went well and Luis said we did GREAT.  Tried to talk us into the afternoon dives, but we already had other things in mind for the afternoon. 

Sundays in Coz are a bit different than other days.  There are rarely any cruise ships in and many of the islanders have the day off.  After class, Sunshine and I head to Chankanab Parque.  This is a great spot to hang out.  The snorkeling is good, the food is good, and Sundays are the best day to go as there are no cruise ship passengers bombarding the place.  We’re both starving (diving is hard work!) by time we get there so we head to the giant palapa where the restaurant is located.  We start out with a beer each and a order of nachos.  The nachos and beer were so good, we had to have a repeat.  Yes, folks, we ate to plates of nachos and they were good.  The beer made me sleepy, so we head out to the beach and claim a palapa.  I crashed for about an hour.  When I woke up, I really, really had to pee.  And this is going to sound horrible, the banos are a long long ways from where we were and diving gives you a whole new perspective on peeing in the ocean.  Believe me, if you can pee in a wetsuit, you can pee when you’re not wearing it.

Our first dive teacher (in 2004) told us there are two types of divers: those who admit they pee in their wetsuits and those who lie about it.  When he first told me and Sunshine that I think we both had about the same reaction: “Uhuh, I’m not ever peeing in my wetsuit.”  You would be surprised.  A month later, I christened my wetsuit on a surface interval with about 10 people watching.  It’s pretty obvious when you wander into some stirred up water about waist deep.  Of course, Sunshine and I did it together, because you know, sharing embarrassment makes it easier.  And of course some smart ass on the pier starts in with “we know what you’re doing.”  FU, buddy, FU....

So back to this year’s trip, like I said, I had to GO and I was hot, so I wandered down to the steps and into the water.   The thing is I have a really shy bladder and this little lifeguard guy comes over and starts chatting with me.  I just wanted him to go away.  Immediately if not sooner.  As I pointed out in my original blog, Mexican men are very very friendly and not afraid to let you know if they find you attractive.  They all want to be your Mexican boyfriend for the night and they tell you straight up.  Anyway, I finally get him to go away by telling him he can indeed show me the giant barracuda.  But other people swim up about that time and I’m still miserable.  I give up, go get my snorkel gear and wake Sunshine up.

Me: This guy wants to show us a giant barracuda.

Sunshine: What?

Me: This guys wants to show us a gian---

Sunshine: I bet…(rolling over and closing her eyes)…What a perv….

Me: No really, there’s a giant barracuda and…

Sunshine: You’re really not kidding and there really is an actual fish to look at?

Me: Seriously. Ok, who’s the perv now?

Unfortunately, we never saw the giant barracuda.  We did get a personal tour of the marine park and saw some pretty cool things.  And I finally got to go, it just took me a while, with the shy bladder thing in all.  Then we slept on the beach some more. 

Around 5:30, we head back to the resort, clean up and go for dinner.  There’s nothing I like on the buffet.  Sunshine gets something that still has eyes.  Ew.  She also point out there are some taquitos being put out.  I perk up.  Taquitos, did you say?  I like taquitos.  I eat a salad consisting of lettuce and three taquitos for dinner.  As we’re walking back to the room, my stomach kind of flipflops.  I walk faster.  I’m now almost running.  Let’s just say I had some serious gastrointestinal issues that night.  It was great, let me tell you.  We had planned to go down to the pool bar that night and play some yatzee, but I ended up getting in bed and reading.  I wasn’t too sure I wanted to be too far away from a potty.  Sunshine advised me to not take anything like Immodium as any bugs in there (that’s a great thought in itself) need to be flushed out.  By the way, I’m pretty sure I won’t have another taquito again.  EVER.         

 

 

 

 

 

Applebees, Rangers, and the Prom....

Yes, this is out of order.  I know I’m supposed to be posting the R-rated version of my Coz trip.  However, I’ve had this as a draft in Outlook for weeks now and thought I’d better post it sometime. 

 

So Friday was my big five year anniversary…yep, that’s right, five years of wedded bliss or something like that anyway.

My dear husband and I decided to go to Fort Worth for the weekend and stay at a nice hotel and take in a Rangers game.  We left town around 6 pm on Friday.  I knew my husband would get hungry so I asked if maybe we could eat at Mary’s (they have the best chicken fried steak in the world) and he’s like, no, it’s not very good.  Whatever.  We’re heading to Sundance Square where they have some great places to eat.  You wanna know where we ate for our anniversary?  Stinking Applebees.  I’m not hatin’ on Applebees, I’m just saying on our five year anniversary, I can think of about a million other places I’d rather eat.  But I have decided to be nicer, so I went along with it, thinking we’d eat somewhere good/interesting like PF Chang’s or the Brazilian place (love me some Brazilian food) on Saturday night.  Sounded good in theory anyway.

 

We finally get to the hotel at 10 and do the self-park (remember this point as it becomes key later) because I was feeling cheap (after all, I’m heading to Cozumel in just a few days) and I didn’t want to pay $15/day for valet parking.  I head to the lobby desk for check in and I’m happy to be there…It’s a beautiful hotel, great location, and I had requested a king bed.  The little guy at the desk says we have reservations for two nights (check) with double beds (WTF!?!?!?!).  I kindly tell him I had called and specifically requested a king bed as it is OUR ANNIVERSARY.  No luck.  We get the two double beds, which are apparently smaller than full size beds.  The room is very nice and the beds are comfortable.  I quit with the details for the remainder of the evening at this point and leave you to your imagination…. 

 

Saturday morning I get up earlier than J (as usual), take a shower and start to head out the door to the nearest Starbucks.  J wakes up and wants to go as well.  I’m not sure why, he hates all things coffee, but since I’m trying to be nicer, I wait an extra 20 minutes for my latte.  We head to lobby and inquire as to where the closest Starbuck might be located, which is just around the corner a ½ block.  It’s a nice morning, but it’s already scorching.  I order my latte and J is just floored that they don’t have soft drinks at Starbucks.    So we stroll around Sundance Square, sipping our drinks (he got some water, oh the horror of having to drink something non-carbonated and sugar/caffeine free).  After about 15 minutes in the already sweltering heat while drinking a rather warm latte, I suggest heading to World Market and the Omni Theater. 

 

World Market is the greatest store.  I got a really cute Eastern looking metal elephant that holds a votive candle.  You literally insert the candle through his butt. J was amused by that.    He really is cute though.  And I bought a ton of incense.  J is sweet and offers to stop at Ann Taylor.  I decline, making a strategic decision that I’d rather keep him out of the store and away from the price tags for future shopping preservation. 

 

So we head to the Omni and J immediately starts jonesing to see the fighter pilot Omni thing (what are those? Movies? Documentaries?) and of course I want to see the Aliens of the Deep or the Living Sea.  It turns out neither of us got our way as none were showing on Saturday…silly things like Mystery of the Nile and something else were playing.  So I drag J to the Cowgirl Museum and Hall of Fame…I think we both actually had a good time there…it really is worth the $6 admission price.  By this time we’re both starving, so we head over the Purple Cow Diner (great place, you should try it sometime) and grab some food and head towards Arlington (aka Hell). 

 

I have to admit, when I bought tickets to the game, I never even considered how hot a 3 pm game would be.  Arlington set a record that day at 99 degrees.  I’m sure all the metal and concrete of the stadium (aka the baseball oven) was about 50 degrees above that.  I have to say it was miserably hot, but I was not going to be a weenie like the other females in my section.  By God, I’m tough and I’ll have a heat stroke to prove it.  The game was great, the Rangers smacked the Astros and I heard one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life…it was quite obvious the three guys behind us had gotten suckered into taking their kids to the game.  From time to time they’d slip and like forget the kids were there…the best example of this happened when one of the Rangers hit two homeruns:

Dad #1:Man, his old lady ought to take her teeth out for him tonight.

Dad #2: You know it….

5 year old daughter: Dad, who’s going to take their teeth out tonight?  Grandma? Grandma’s going to take her teeth out?  How come? 

Dad #1: Uh.  Uh.  No one.  No one’s taking their teeth out…

Daughter: But, but you said…

Dad #1: Hey, you want some ice cream?

It was pretty freaking funny. 

 

After leaving the game, J calls some friends (we’ll call them the Nascar family for our purposes) of ours as they wanted us to swing by.  Keep in mind I wanted to say hi, but I also had other things I wanted to do.  J calls Daddy Nascar and he’s like we’re not home yet, can you wait two hours to come by?  My response would have been NO, I HAVE TO TAKE MY WIFE TO DINNER AT PF CHANGS TONIGHT.  I PROMISED.  What does he say in reality?  Sure, we’ll see you then.  So by time we visit and leave it’s 9 pm, I’m sweaty, tired, and dehydrated.  I had given up on decent food for the evening and just wanted a cold shower and a gallon of water to drink.  Of course nothing in life is that simple. 

 

So here’s how I ended up attending prom during on my fifth anniversary.  We return to the hotel, go to the parking garage (remember, I’m too cheap to valet) and it’s closed.  What?!?!  So we go to the hotel entrance.  There is a limo in front of us.  A kid with a top hat and a pimp stick steps out.  He’s in purple.  Not kidding.  If I hadn’t been so tired I would have laughed hysterically.  Anyway, there’s a prom at the hotel, but the valet says to follow him around and he’ll let us in the garage.  Seriously, I will so pay $15/day to valet from now on. 

 

This gets better…as we enter the hotel from the garage, I start seeing lots and lots of formal wear.  BTW, apparently pimp sticks are the accessory of choice among high school boys.   Keep in mind, I’m in a white mini, orange tank top, and I’m sure I smelled horribley.  You know it’s bad when you can smell yourself.  Anyway, to get from where we parked to the elevators we had to walk straight through these kids’ prom.  Not around, but dead center.  I was dying.  Then we had to cross a roped off section.  Chaperones started freaking out…one chased us down and wanted to know where we came from….it was great. I hope to never repeat that incident EVER EVER again. 

 

All in all, we had a nice weekend.  I’m still a little hacked we didn’t get to eat at PF Changs…guess I can use that as a good excuse to go back. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vacation - Part 1 (Thursday - Saturday) Rated R

Yes, yes, I know, sorry to disappoint, but just nothing on the trip occured to warrant a rating of X....

Those of you who have read my other Coz blog (ie. the PG rated version - I said ass a few times or else it could have been a G rating) may find some repitition here, but I assure you, some of the experiences will be much more explained and I won't be sitting in an internet cafe in Coz hurrying.

Also be warned that this could be a really L O N G post. As a matter of fact, multiple posts might be in order here.

Thursday, May 26...I happily sprint out the door of the bank, speed race home and finish packing what will affectionately be know as the Grossly Distended Suitcase From Hell. J happens to be home and I'm thinking how sweet, he took the afternoon off since he won't be seeing me for a week. What an idiot I am...He seriously never got up from the nap he was taking on the couch. Seriously. Whatever. So I manage to load the GDSFH by myself (I think I did it on sheer adrenaline alone)and head over to pick up my mamacita (my grasp of the Spanish language never ceases to amaze me). After indulging my slight OCD issues (yes, I pulled over in a parking lot 3x (and fight the urge several more times) to make sure I packed various items such as BCP, glasses, and dive mask). Get to Ft. W, check in, eat the last beef I'll have for almost two weeks, and go to Old Navy. Yes, b/c my I was truly trying to break the zipper on my suitcase I decided I needed more clothing to take. We head back to the hotel and my mom, God bless her, repacks my suitcase. Yes, my suitcase had a makeover, no longer could it be called the GDSFH, but just a normal suitcase, no expanders unzipped, no unsightly bulges. As Diva said "Momma M has some mad packin' skills." Yes, she does.

Friday, May 27...Mom and I had decided the Ft. W zoo would be nice, so we head to Starbucks for breakfast. I am so hooked on iced caramel macs right now. So we're sitting there minding our business and two birds literally fall off the awning and onto mom. I'm not sure if the birds were fight or making up, but I think mom was just happy that didn't poo on her. She has some bad mojo when it comes to that. We arrive at the zoo just on time for the 10 am opening and seriously make the fastest trip anybody has ever made through the zoo and still manage to see it all.

We're at lunch at my cousin Sandy's house when the phone calls begin.
Me: Hello?!
Sunshine: OMG! I don't know how or what to pack!
Me: UR leaving in 2 hours, u better get w/it....
Sunshine: How many bags are you checking?
Me: One.
Sunshine: Oh, thank god....Click.
Seriously. Then 2 minutes later....
Me: He....
Sunshine: OMG! Howmuchcanmybagweigh?HOwmanyswimsuitsareyoutaking?Didyoupackanalarmclock?blahblahblahblah...................
Me: Uh.
Sunshine: Ok, talk to you later....Click.

Then again, about 5 minutes later....
Me: Girl, you...
Sunshine: I'm taking two suitcases and a carry on.
Me: Ok
Sunshine: See you later. Click.
Me: Uh, ok.

The phone rings again...I'm thinking OMG, Sunshine, get it together! But it's not Sunshine, it's J. Delivering some bad news.
J: My stereo got stolen from the garage.
Me: (I'm thinking wtf am I supposed to do about it, but I say) Oh.
J: Someone wearing TENNIS SHOES took it. And they have big feet.
Me: (Trying not to laugh)Really? Did you have the garage locked?
J: No.
Me: Then lock the garage or they'll take other stuff next time.
J: Is that all you have to say? Don't you think it might be related to the vodka that walked out of the house last weekend.
Me: (the light is coming on). Oh shit. I'll get mom to get the key back from my sister. (who dog/house sat for us the weekend before. She's 19 and like most 19 year olds, you know, has not much of a brain. And says she doesn't know what happened to the vodka or the champagne. Interestingly enough, they left the cheap ass tequila sitting in plain sight. Me, I'd have just taken it all, I wasn't picky when I was 19).

Fast forward to the Hyatt at DFW. I'm hanging out, chatting on the phone when Sunshine calls, I tell her to use the phone bank to ring the hotel for a shuttle. Like 2 minutes later, she was there. It was freaky. We immediately head to the bar because we need beverages. Turns out they were having two conferences at the hotel, one related to gaming and the other related to mind body spirit wellness. The hotel was completely taken over by a large group of Asian young adults. And the girls did not like me or Sunshine. And they were rude. I was thinking for mind body wellness people they were sure hostile. For example, I was standing in line at the restaurant, speaking with the hostess and three girls were standing so on top of me, I could literally not turn around. And when I tried to the nice Excuse me, it's like they were deaf or some shit. Elbows do come in handy sometimes.

We actually made it to bed at decent hour. And I actually got up before the alarm went off! We were running ahead of schedule and went on to the airport. It's a good thing, because the checkin line was forever...people were trying to cut...they'd leave and come back and go well, I was here. I wanted to go "bitch, was is the key word." Thankfully, no one tried to cut in front of me. After standing in the longest line in the world, we finally get to check our bags, except since I'm there, they decide our bags need searching. Yes, I'm two for two on being pulled aside and searched. Last time they couldn't figure out why the wand kept going off on my chest...I was like underwire, asshole, wanna see?

Anyway, I finally get some coffee (I was in need of an IV that day) and eventually board the plane to paradise. Except that the plane didn't go anywhere for like two hours. And we all had to stay in our seats. And it was hot. Because the workers would have gotten blasted by 150 degree air if they turned the A/C on...wah wah wah. Then a kid two rows back starts in with the talking book. Over and over and over and over again. I turn around, all annoyed, which doesn't do much as I can't even see over the seat. Sunshine starts turning around and the lady behind us starts bitching about the kid and before long, there's a bounty on the book AND the kid. The mom finally got a clue and was like sweetie, that's going to bother people...Excuse me, that's GOING to bother people? Then what the hell has it been doing for the past 30 minutes?

Anyway, we finally make it to Coz. Our bags all arrive, we make it through customs with no stops and go to the hotel. Yay!! Instead of immediately changing into swimwear, we put on shorts and get some housekeeping items out of the way...Kickass jeep rental for the week? Check. Check in with the dive shop for our course? Check. Dinner at Casa Denis? Check. Marilyn forgetting to zip her fly? Check. Yes, I forgot to zip the fly of my shorts. Had no idea. Until we walk by one of the awful time share sales guys. You're supposed to just smile and keep walking, paying them no attention. Well, I tried and the guy gets in my face and starts going "can I tell you something?" Sure, don't let me stop you..."Zip it up." I was mortified as the next words out of his mouth were "cause I can see your twat." Yes, he said it. I was DYING. First, I don't like the word. Second, NO HE COULDN'T. He may have thought he could, but guess what? I had on black undies. Who's the joke on now, asshole? Third, as I was walking away, I was wondering exactly how long my undies had been hanging out. Mortified. See why I couldn't put that in the PG blog. I think my mom would have died if she had read that. That or asked me what a twat is....

Stay tuned for the further adventures of Mare and Sunshine in paradise....

Testing 123...

Ok, this is my fourth and final attempt at the blogging-by-email thing....

 

Academia and Other BS

So here it is 10:15 on Sunday night. My grades are due by 10 am Monday. Yes, be very scared, people...I impart knowledge on America's youth (and occassionally those from other countries, you know, foreign exchange students). They'll let anybody with a master and an 18 hour concentration teach undergrads these days. Back to my original point. I have administered the final. I have graded both the final, the post test (yes, they are two different things), and their projects. My grades are calculated. All I need to do is pull up the web page stuff that lets me enter grades and PRESTO! grades are entered. If only it were that simple. I have been trying for hours now to access the stupid web page. Think it's working? HELL NO. And I'm going to get bitched at in the morning for my lack of grade entering. Just had to vent. Now I'm going to go to bed real quick before my husband gets home and asks why I didn't move the water in the front yard (mostly because I didn't want to, but bed sounds like a better excuse to use on him). I know, I'm hopeless.

The Manly Goodness That Is Orlando Bloom

Me and my mama (shout out to W. Virginia, home of Jen Garner, the mother-to-be of B. Aff's baby...girl, you do know he wears eyeliner?) decided after each experiencing tumultuous mornings and early afternoons that we should just ditch real life for a couple of hours and head to the movies. What to see? Hmmmmm....a romantic comedy (there're two out with Ashton...who's getting Punk'd now?). No. A suspenseful thriller with multiple Oscar winners. No. We went for the epic "Kingdom of Heaven" starring Orlando Bloom and who cares who else. Oh, and I, uh, think Liam Neeson was in it too. For a little while anyway. And the creepy bad guy from the first XXX. He was in it too.

I've always thought Orlando was cute, I mean I would imagine we've all seen him in a blonde wig with pointy ears and thought he works it as an elf. He was cute in Pirates, but I mean, compared to Johnny Depp, even in all his pirate gear? Not quite. Not such as big fan of his Paris to Brad's Achilles or Eric B's Hector. But things have now changed. I would put Orlando in the hot, sexy man category now. I read somewhere he gained 20 lbs of muscle for the part. It worked for him.

Oh, and the movie...it was pretty good too.